Paper Chains Our Family Together

I have a paper chain strung across the doorframe between our family room and dining room. You see it when you walk through the front door and you walk under it to get to the rest of the house. It’s a countdown to when my husband will return from his latest deployment and it’s a continuous reminder that we are going to get through this again.
This is our family’s third deployment. The first happened in the chaos of September 11. The second was two years ago and our first Christmas apart. This is our third and we are in the home stretch to having Daddy home again. The paper chain is shrinking.
I am often asked how do we live this lifestyle. Some days we just put one foot in front of the other. We do what we can to get through it.
There are no cookie cutter military wives. We each function in our own way and deployments can bring out a whole range of emotions. Most days are normal. Much of it is routine. I’m fortunate to know a number of military wives who have also fed their kids ice cream for lunch and ramen for dinner.
If anything we try to find a constant for our kids. Paige is our artist. We have a box of letters and pictures that she has drawn for Daddy over the years. It’s her way of coping and keeping Graham close to her.
Our son Teddy holds onto the wonder of the moon. If he sees the moon in the morning he knows that Daddy is looking at the same one halfway across the world.
Drew is two and for him Graham being gone is not unusual. The vigorous pace of the C-17 world has been all he’s known. Even so it’s heartbreaking when he asks for his Daddy and I cannot make it happen.
As an adult I realize that this is part of my husband’s job. I don’t seek out nor ask for special treatment because my husband serves in the military. We are aware that there are many jobs that send a parent away from home.
If there is anything good about a deployment it’s that the little things that drive me crazy when Graham is home becomes trivial when he’s gone. The bagel crumbs left on the counter and the dirty dishes left in the sink are no longer important.
Time can go so very slow while he is away. I carry my cell phone in hopes of not missing his call. I check email much more frequently. I try to keep him in the loop of our everyday adventures.
We all do what it takes to make it through. We make our paper chains. We cross off days on a calendar and we integrate into the communities in which we live. We live and we love. Sometimes it’s just that simple.